From Parents To Friends: How To Show Them You Are Mature Enough For The Change

By Francine Fluetsch on September 22, 2014

image via www.rolemommy.com

Going away to college is one those transitions where you don’t fully know what to expect. Sure you have older kids telling you how it will be, you’ll have books and blogs giving you pointers, but you don’t really know until you yourself are experiencing it.

The college transition will suck you in, and while you are learning how to be more mature and experience a new type of freedom, your parents will be, to put it lightly, freaking out.

It makes sense, right? The person they have raised for 18 years is suddenly no longer under their care. Your parents will feel weird not knowing where you are all the time and not knowing what you are doing. And while you definitely need to experience your new-found freedom to the fullest, you also want to help your parents with the transition from being their baby to being an adult that can be their friend.

And why should you be worrying about your parents when you just want to experience the college life? Well, on top of helping them out, you will also be helping yourself out.

When you come back for holidays, your parents will be tempted to give you curfews again and tell you right from wrong if they still think of you as simply their kid. You need to prove to them that you are a mature, responsible, budding adult who can now take care of yourself (because getting rules again after not having any sucks).

I asked my mom about what she thought when I first left (I’m the oldest child) and she said “it was really hard in the beginning because I always worried if you got home safe when you went out and overall it was just weird not having you home.”

So how can you help your parents see that you can handle yourself?

Keep in contact:

It’s hard enough for them not having you around, so getting updates from you will really brighten their day. This isn’t to say you have to text your parents 24/7, but it will really help them—especially in the beginning—if you tell them that you got home okay or maybe tell them what you have planned for the weekend.

I usually Skype my parents once a week since I can’t go home very often. It helps me feel less homesick and it’s a great way for us to catch up and for them to know that I’m okay.

Remember to cut them some slack. If they call you a lot in the beginning, take their calls and make sure they know you aren’t forgetting about them or something. With time, the calls will die down, maybe even to the point where you miss it.

One time I called my parents because I hadn’t talked to them in a while and they had to go because they were watching a movie …

Don’t post stupid stuff on social media:

Most likely, you are friends with your parents on Facebook and such, so having drunky pics on there might not be the best idea. You should have the setting on where you can approve tagged pics of yourself before they show up on your timeline so that one of you passed out on the street won’t show up on your page.

Watching what you post on the web will kill two birds with one stone because it will show your parents you aren’t doing anything stupid (that they know of) and it will help you later on when you are applying for jobs.

Even if you delete something, once it’s on the web, it’s out there, and someone who is computer savvy will be able to find out more things about you than you would want. So moral of this story is to be conscious of what you post.

Tell them about achievements:

Whether it’s sports, grades or something creative, make sure to share your achievements with your parents. Being able to see what you are doing will give them a perspective on the new person you are developing into, and will help them see that while you still may need some guidance, you are doing well on your own.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help:

Adults need help too, and your parents will always appreciate you needing them. Ask them for help on adult things, to make sure you are doing it right, and for them to see that you are trying and you want their wisdom to help guide you.

It’s always a great feeling to do things on your own as well, but your parents are there to help and if you ask them for help on specific things, they are less likely to barge in on all aspects of your life, even if you didn’t ask for it.

They also do give pretty good advice, so don’t forget to listen to what they have to say.

Give them time:

It will take time for them to stop being “parents” per say and move on to being your “friends,” but I promise it will happen. Be respectful of their rules at home if they still enforce them but reasonably talk to them as to why certain things should be okay now that you are older.

Just keep your calm and tough it out until they see that you really are ready to be given more freedom, even at home.

And remember that your parents do what they do because they love and care about you!

Image via http://www.wordsonimages.com

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