The Do's and Don'ts of Sharing Clothes With Your Roommate

By Alexia Gonzalez on July 3, 2015

Living with a roommate is an exciting transition into adulthood that takes place at the start of most of our college careers. Although there are many who may have had to share rooms with siblings or have experienced a similar situation at some point in life, there are still those of us who have always flown solo.

As an only child, the idea of sharing a living space with anyone besides my dog and my parents was completely foreign and incredibly intimidating.

As scary as it may initially seem, living with someone is a maturing process that teaches us a lot about ourselves as well as the way that we manage relationships with other people. Regardless of whether you are shacking up with a friend or a complete stranger, the experience of living with another individual creates a bond unique to any other kind of interaction.

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Not only do you learn the good, but you also learn the bad and the ugly. Even if you and your roomie are BFFAEAEs, there must always be some type of boundaries in place for both adults (yes, you are an adult) to maintain your personal space and feel comfortable in your home environment.

Not saying that you should avoid getting too close to your roommate, but definitely set some practical and responsible limitations.

As female cohabitants, it is almost inevitable to reach the point of clothes swapping (especially if you and your girl share the same size). Whether you love your roommate’s style and want to try on one of her outfits, or simply have a hamper full of dirty shirts and desperately need something to wear, there will come a time when you and your roomie will borrow each other’s garbs.

This is when things can get a little tricky. If you trust your housemate with your clothes, by all means lend away. However, borrowing clothes ranks up there with not washing your dishes and not knocking before entering the bathroom as causes for sources of roommate drama.

It’s definitely easy to let the excitement of multiplying your outfit options without having to spend a dime blind you from the potential conflicts that can come from hyperactive clothes sharing. To help keep the peace (and the fashion sense) always consider these very important do’s and don’ts for thread swapping with your new roommate.

DO: Once you mutually reach the level of clothes swapping comfort, set up an arrangement about how you would like things done. Have a chat together about rules and requirements, such as which items are off limits and how you want her to wash your belongings once she’s done using them, etc.

DON’T: Do not practice hoarding borrowed clothes. Borrow clothes only on the day you plan to wear them, and return them right after you’re done (and after you’ve washed them). This is a courteous gesture that shows her that you can be trusted with her belongings. It also builds trust and appreciation.

DO: Always ask when borrowing an item. Never ever take something of hers without asking. This is the number one rule for proper wardrobe etiquette. Even if you’re super comfortable borrowing each other’s threads, raiding anyone’s closet without their permission is a cruel invasion of privacy. Also make certain that your roommate exercises the same respect for your belongings.

DO: Be honest about your clothing size. Seriously. You may both wear a size medium blouse, but if you happen to have a larger bust or hip size, you will definitely stretch out her A-cup knit tops and size 2 skirts.

DO: Maintain an equal amount of give and take. If you’re constantly going in and asking for a handout, it’s only fair that she have the freedom to do the same. Either way, you want to try to avoid being an overzealous borrower. It can create tension that you won’t even realize.

DON’T: Never lend out a significant item that you have attachment to. Accidents happen, and if you give her full rein of your grandmother’s vintage kimono, you bear the responsibility of any potential fatalities.

DO: Offer up suggestions from your own closet if you find her having a hard time piecing an outfit together. After all, what’s the fun of sharing clothes if you don’t have fun with it and take advantage of double the styling input?

DON’T: Never lie if you happen to ruin something that you’ve borrowed from her and always take full responsibility for your actions. Own up to what happened and try to remedy it as quickly as possible. If it needs to be dry-cleaned or taken to a tailor, it should be your responsibility to cover the costs.

If you ruin the item to an irreparable state, be sure to replace it as soon as possible. I can tell you from personal experience that there is nothing more inconsiderate than lending out an article of clothing only to have it accidentally burned with a cigarette, ignored, and not taken care of (I loved those tights).

DON’TDo not employ the ‘take anything you want’ rule to items that cost over $100: Because they really don’t fall under the same category as LBDs from Forever 21 do.

DON’T: Never ask to borrow lingerie. That can get weird really quickly.

DO: Agree on a wash-and-return arrangement. Some people are very particular about how their clothing gets cleaned or are allergic to certain detergents, while others are more worried about getting their stuff back stain-free. Be sure to talk to your roommate and see what she prefers.

DORemember her wardrobe isn’t actually your wardrobe. If you both want to wear the same pair of heels to a party one Friday, the owner gets first dibs. No exceptions.

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