New Year, New ... Nothing: A New Year's Resolution For The Weak-Willed

By Rachel Nieves on January 10, 2016

New Years! Sequins! Colors! Streamers! Champagne! Trial gym memberships! Empty monogrammed notebooks! New Years is great because it means we’re one step closer to Groundhog’s Day and six weeks left of winter.

Something you may be familiar with when it comes to New Years is a little thing called a “resolution.” **SIGH** Unless you’re perfect, like Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds’s daughter James, you’ve probably done the whole “I’m gunna be a better person” thing.

Year in and year out, however, we’re all constantly reminded how hard it is to work out three to four days a week and save an extra $20 each month.

So this year, for those of you that are determined to do something to better yourself, don’t make a New Year’s resolution. Resolutions are a super fun, swell way to pinpoint what we don’t like about ourselves and make us futilely attempt to change whatever that is. If you don’t like working out (does anyone really like working out?), aren’t good at saving money (I’m only human, mom), or you’re just a regular human being with flaws and self-doubt (hello, Winter weight), use the New Year as an invitation to just keep doing your thing.

Yeah, yeah, January 1 is the universal opportunity to “improve yourself,” but a very wise owl once asked how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, setting a precedent that it’s always better to set your expectations low. After all, only 44 percent of Americans made New Year’s resolutions last year, so pretty much everyone is coming to the consensus that it’s better to stay exactly the way we are.

However pessimistic or lazy this may seem, the best way to better yourself is to just keep being yourself. Lots of society’s pressures make us question our life choices and day-to-day decisions; January 1 should remind you what you like about yourself and how far you’ve come (regardless of “resolutions”) since the champagne popped in 2015.

Keep doing whatever it is you do and what makes you happy and try not to care about what anyone thinks of it (harder than it looks, I assure you). If you think it’s easy not to care what people think, you’re wrong, sorry. “Doing you” is much harder than it looks, because sometimes it’s not socially acceptable to sit around in your underwear eating cheese all day. I don’t do that … but someone else might … anyway.

The thing about New Year’s resolutions is they tend to grow their own legs. We can get so caught up in really trying to make resolutions happen that it becomes too much to handle, and all of a sudden there you are stuck in the bathroom with leather pants around your ankles with legs covered in baby powder and lotion. Not a good look.

If you REALLY need a New Year’s resolution, just do exactly what you did in 2015, but do it better. By “better,” work on not giving a duck about what people think about your choices/dreams/wishes/hopes, and just do it.

Take it from Ross Geller, I’m sure if you asked him if he was planning to make a New Year’s resolution he’d respond with an emphatic (yet enunciated), “no thx.”

University of Maryland Senior, big cheese fan, big on laughing my way out of awkward encounters, big on wearing the color black. What am I doing after I graduate? My guess is as good as yours.

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