Why realistic sex is important

By Amanda Eisenberg on September 25, 2013

Sex, especially first-time sex, is depicted in TV shows and movies in a let’s-make-love-in-the-house-I’ll-buy-and-fix-up-for-you way. It’s easy and romantic and with Ryan Gosling. It doesn’t look awkward. There’s no condom in sight. For me, every time I watch anything romantic, I wait for it: the unrealistic portrayal of sex. That’s why I was surprised when I saw The Spectacular Now, starring Shailene Woodley and Miles Teller. It was the first time in a long time that I saw a realistic portrayal of losing one’s virginity.

It’s slow. It’s uncomfortable. It’s real.

So many adolscents go through high school and college with these The Notebook-esque fantasies in mind, so when it comes time for actually losing their virginity, they’re disappointed and confused. Mainly, they feel like they did something wrong.

“Eleventh grade. Seth Bateman. His smelly rec room. Half a joint, three thrusts, finito,” described Carrie Bradshaw on how she lost her virginity before adding that it took place on a ping pong table.

Sex and the City was notorious for its realistic relationship problems while exaggerating A) how much a columnist makes (Carrie, you cannot afford Manolos, Choos and Louboutins along with the rent of your Upper East Side brownstone on a journalist’s salary!) and B) Samantha’s orgasmic sex life. However, lines like that gave some realism to sex.

In recent history, Girls has been praised as a real-world version of SATC. The show depicts four out-of-college women who are trying to get their shit together the best they can, and it involves a lot of sex. One of the characters, Shoshana, was a virgin before meeting her boyfriend (soon to be ex-). There’s a hilarious scene where she is the recipient of oral sex from a camp friend. It hits the right notes with audiences for her funny yet realistic response.

More shows and movies should take the lead on showing that sex is not something that is magically amazing overnight.

Photo courtesy of Charactergrades.com

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